Years off my Life

When Roger and I were first married, I had separation issues.   My sister had only died 8 months before and I was scared to bawling everyday that he would not come home because of some accident or another.  Every time I heard sirens I would panic.  He "laid down a law" telling me I could not worry unless he had been gone for 24 hours.  I am sure I would not be able to go that long but it did help me relax a bit.


Fast forward into the not very far future when we starting making babies.  I would say that most moms think my "leash" with my kids is too long and I let them stray too far from me to be safe.  I would agree that my leash is longer than most but part of that is so I could come a little closer to the length of Roger's leash.  His is oober long.  No doubt he loves his kids as did our parents who let us roam the neighborhood/city or their parents who let them travel cross country with a sibling at a young age.  Is it fair saying these days are different?


We don't always agree on how far Jt can ride his bike but slowly I have given up the reigns on the distance I am okay with.  Last week I wasn't asked for approval and he traveled on scary traffic roads.  I held my breath the whole time but he made it home safe.


My saying all that has set up tonight's scenario.  Jt rides his bike to scouts.  It has taken me while to be okay with that but its a pretty straight shot 1.5 miles away but it crosses a few intersections and does not have sidewalks most of the way.  A whole half hour after he was supposed to come home I started to get nervous.  I give myself credit for waiting that long.  I thought back to when he should have come home and I remembered hearing sirens really close.  I checked my phone to be sure because Rory made a call at the time I heard the sirens and that was when he should have been close.


We hop in the car and I can feel my heart drop and I am holding back tears because I don't want to panic.  I call Roj who did not answer his phone (he was still working) to get the scout leader's #.  I make it to scouts and his bike is not there which means he did leave and is not home.


Seriously?

• sirens
• 40 min late
• no bike

I call my friend who has a boy in his troop to get the leader's #.  She let me know that the scouts went on a bike ride and had not returned. She was at the church for another son's pack meeting and he would find her when he arrived.  Whew!  Years off my life I tell you.  I called my neighbor to vent and calm down while I waited.  My friend at the church texted me to tell me he was on his way and I waited outside.


He rode up with a look on his face that suggested he knew I would be worried.  He told me he had asked to use his leader's phone and he brushed JT off (I could ring his leader's neck).  I told him calmly my scare and could only say that I just really love him.  He gave me a tight hug.


Could you imagine life with out Jt?  It would be so horrible.